I will admit to being an exhibitionist cum writer cum wannabe burlesque tease, we’re not talking Dita Von Teese or Betty Page but rather a dorkalicious combination of blushing, nudity and the ability to debate and stop a man (or the odd woman) in their tracks with just a smile…. it takes time to master.
During my forays into the seedy and strange world of being on cam i thought i’d share some of the strange things i’ve been asked to do or share. I don’t understand some of them or the psychology behind it, but they make me laugh. The persona of being an anonymous minx online is intriguing you get to shed clothes and layers and become some strange variant of naughty librarian/show off/freak in the bedroom all at the touch of a button or keystroke. That imbues power, and a rush that can be very stimulating.
Not long ago i got asked to masturbate with cheese; don’t get me wrong i love food and the delicious yet fattening food produced everywhere in the world, the creamy brie, the texture and tang of haloumi, paneer smothered in butter sauce. Mmmmm – yes it’s a turn on digesting it. But to self pleasure to or with it? It begs the question how? Do i lay on a table smothered with Kraft singles and enticingly cock one leg and go ‘come here big boy…..’ do i add vegemite and bread for an Aussie flavour? Or is a strong hard piece of Reggiano or that ilk have to be placed strategically and rubbed against like a pizza chef making a topping. Picture it if you can, does it turn you on?
I googled it of course – cheese and masturbation and behold……. there is such a thing as cheese fetishists out there. For now i’ll keep it strictly platonic, i’ll drool over it, devour and enjoy it without it being a self pleasuring too.l.
Other gems included one guy that was turned on by talking about Casey Stoner the famous Aussie motor bike rider, not in an erotic way just in conversation. I had wondered if he was a man crush or a bromance but no, the person was straight and just idolised the man and linked it to arousal… odd yet intriguing.
Then we have feet lovers, oh how they ask to see the feet, you licking them, stroking them or parading them around in open toed shoes. It’s kinda a little kink unto itself, the arch of a female’s foot, the tongue over the skin. I just usually look and think ‘are my toes pretty enough??’ and then feel rather stupid for wondering what a pretty looking toe actually is. Breasts sure – firm and supple and creamy, the elongated neck that wants to be kissed, legs that are taut toned and look great bare or in stockings all make sense. But a toe??? what does that toe aside from well, walk?
All leading to a sub genre called ‘directors’ now these are my least favourite class of morons erm people. They assume you are a porn star the next Cytheria and will not only want to show them close ups of your speculum but do a freaking Cirque du Soleil act at the same time without so much of a ‘thank you’. It’s not enough to appreciate someone being natural, it’s got to be controlled and staged and done an inch within Stephen Spielberg’s directing style and even then there is the greed for more. I contribute it to the porn factor, the way so many women are shown to really apparently want two men degradng them, pussy gaping, mouth lolling like Kim Kardashian looking at her bank account and always, always begging for more extreme things. There is a prevalence of this becoming accepted or normal behaviour when honestly chicks don’t usually dig five dicks or being spat on, gagged or used. Porn for women involves firemen in their gear and a hot man doing housework, or even sometimes two hot gay men getting it on.
It’s not real yet amateur every day guys try to apply this to real women and then wonder why they get blocked or shown the finger. Even the sexiest and uninhibited of women have limits, and manners will always get far better results.
Now, to find me someone with a fetish for chocolate, there may be a niche for that…..and one i would gladly relish exploring.