What i’m dancing naked to….

One of my naughty little pleasures is to dance late into the midnight hours to seductive tunes, naked, i toss my hair back, i wiggle and pout at the imaginary audience and i like to think of old lovers sitting on my couch drooling over what they missed out on.

This is the latest song i’m in lust with, it’s sultry and catchy and my hips can’t get enough of it.

Hope you enjoy!

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The line between shy and creepy

You know the saying ‘be careful for what you wish for as it just may come true’ well i’ve had that exact thing happen in the last two weeks.  Not the lofty grandiose dream of being published or winning a world trip, and we know i got to see my long loved favourite actor Sean Astin earlier in the year.. no my wish for many years was to have a secret admirer. 

How i yearned for someone to notice me silently, pondering upon my visage and features.  When you grew up reading books instead of socialising and confiding in a diary you tend to lack teenage lusty adventures.  I got my kicks from movies and novels as i found teenage boys lacking the depth and conversation skills to really relate to.

Fast forward to present day Gigi, i’m still not loud or that inane word ‘bubbly’ (who wants to be likened to a vacuous effervescent bubble anyway?) but i can hold my own in a conversation one on one and i have grown into my confidence quietly but surely.  I have finally got my first secret admirer after 35 years.

And i’m creeped out.

I got an email from someone who saw me out on my birthday last year, and instead of asking for my number or speaking to me conjured my email out of thin air.  Apparently they got my email from one of my friends who funnily enough dont recall anyone asking about me nor giving it out, and i was described as bubbly and ‘hot’.  Um … yeah, you waited 14 months to email me and the only feasible way you got my email was from the establishment (i’m on a email list) i celebrated my 34th birthday at.  There’s cute … and then there is creepy. 

Here is word for word.. the email i got in reply to my  ‘how did you get my email… this sound dodgy’ reply

I had a girlfriend at the time. (Unlike HER, I don’t believe in cheating.) A bad relationship which has since gone under. I asked the person not to say anything to you and wanted your number but I could only get an email address out of them. You’re not harsh. I understand how you would have questions. I didn’t actually meet you as I did not want to approach you at that time. My thinking was, well, when and if I’m single again…I wish I could think of your friend’s name but I was drinking a bit that night. (So was your friend, I suspect as she seemed a little tipsy, but very sweet, lol) I just thought you had a sweet face and looked very bubbly. I don’t mean to get too personal but are you single? Don’t worry. I’m not really searching right now. I need time to heal after what I’ve been through with my last girlfriend. I believe in taking things slow. I’ve only just recently returned to live in Australia. I moved to the States with my parents when I was very young and came back here to live with my ex girlfriend. Sorry its taken me so long to respond. Dramas! We all have them, do we not? :-/

I get it’s hard to talk to cute people, you falter, you stammer and you blush.  Hell if you’re like me you probably come out with strange noises and then run off in embarrassment.  I’ve tried and failed many, many times.  Just last week i saw the guy i had the biggest crush on from high school for the first time in 18 years, and i couldn’t bring myself to say hi out of fear of being a douche, i just smiled to myself and left him undisturbed.   I like the sweet innocence of those memories.

But. here’s the rub, i’ve never waited 14 months to contact someone that caught me eye, because one they ain’t going to remember me and secondly;it reeks of desperation.  Plus, unless you had some great connection and history, most women do not want to hear from you after that amount of time.  We like to think if we’re that spectacular you’ll let it be known in a much shorter time frame. 

The other gem of this person, is the fact that they were monkey swinging before getting out of a crap relationship.  Honestly, who hunts down emails or phone numbers before they end a relationship to hold onto for safe keeping.  It’s not enticing stuff i have to say.  No quirky little quips, no humour and a total lack of accountability has shot down my long held fantasy.

The point is to not hold onto a cherished dream for so long that if it comes true in some weird way it destroys the essence of what you wanted, i wanted shy and cute and got creepy desperado.  It’s way more fun to be the admirer than the admired i now see.

Did i reply is the question?   No. 

I’ll just wait for an admirer who magically knows my taste in cupcakes or quirky pictures…..Then i may just be curious and flattered. 

Feminist take on mummy porn….

So I’m watching Can of Worms on olde Channel Ten tonight and the topic of sex has come up again, which is great as i like a good old debate on ethics, feminism and women’s sexuality.  The question directly asked was

‘Does “mummy porn” set women’s liberation back 40 years?’  please discuss.

Weeeelllllll, so glad you asked for my opinion as a feminist and lover of erotica. Firstly, women especially mothers are sexual, the fact that women have dual roles as carers and hornbags hasn’t dissipated.  It’s just that society expects once you have got the shagging done and reared some offspring the mouth you kiss your children with should not suck cock anymore.  It’s a stifling attitude to expect that mummy’s should be virtuous paragons of ethics and chastity despite the fact they had sex quite a bit to conceive. Newsflash, mother despite lack of energy and time are still sexual creatures. 

I remember being very young and overly curious about my mother’s lingerie cupboard, i liked the lace and frills and nighties.  I even walked out with a pair of her crotchless knickers in my hands once and told her they were broken or torn, much to her disgust or embarrassment.  In my mind she had a pair of faulty knickers, as an adult i want to chide myself for being that nosey.  Looking back, i’m glad she probably had an active sex life in her early adult life despite being a working mother, as we all have many roles in our lives, sexuality is one major facet.

The book that shall not be named is being touted as putting women’s liberation and establishing mummy porn in the last 12 months.  Hmmm, forgive me for being a smartass but where the fuck have people been?  Story of O ring a bell anyone?  um yes, there are proper erotic or pornorgraphic novels that have been read and enjoyed and studied for many, many years.  It’s not a new phenomena, so when women start agitating that bdsm erotica in particular espouses abuse it’s (a) uneducated and (b) invalidates the sexual choice for women to be submissive.

BDSM is all about choice, intimacy and power.  Now, i have no sub leanings whatsoever, i’m strong willed and dominant to boot, but i choose this.  I relish the fact that in my normal job i have no desire to lead, manage or dominate in a busines sense.  It’s hard work for little reward.  Sexually however i adore fucking a man’s head, body and soul slowly and with great care and respect.  It’s not abusive or about me hurting anyone, and i am lucky to have the confidence to make this choice. 

The flip-side of course is that women also get off on being dominated by their lovers, the rope on their skin, being told they are a ‘dirty, dirty girl’ being made to submit.  Does it then equate to said woman being less feminist or abused, hell no.  It means she likes being teased and tormented without having to think, to hand over the reins for a little bit.  If she’s an adult and finds it a turn on, then that is what sexuality and power is all about.

What i find disturbing is that so many women (and husbands) think this one book is the penultimate guide to sex or intimacy, that some state it’s rekindled their desire to read and to fuck lovelorn husbands.  To them i want to say ‘Read better literature….. written by women for women’  honestly, if you can get turned on by a virginal asshat with no life or spirit then imagine what good literature will do for your libido.  Better yet, start writing some of your fantasies on paper, it’s liberating and cathartic all at once.

Back to the crux of the argument/debate, literature isn’t the damaging thing to women’s liberation, it’s the amount of young men brought up with lack of respect towards women or healthy discussions about sexual ethics with young people.  This is one of the first generations of the digital age that ‘learn’ from porn found on sites like RedTube, that do not know that women do not like anal pounding or ejaculation on their face and that sexual respect is about caring for the body and emotions of another human being whilst being safe.  Thus what happens is that i know of girls as young as 14 at local high schools that sleep around and get video taped on smart phones to be liked by their peers.  Sexual health isn’t discussed because condom use is not advocated and let’s face it does a  15 year old really think of gonorrhea, herpes or other sexual diseases? 

Hence why i’m starting open dialogues with my nieces even the young ones about sexual ethics and self respect, and that when they are older i want them to be open to talk to me about safe sex, or hormones and contraception and the wealth of good information out there on sexuality. 

And if i see the afore mentioned books in their possession at any time, it’s getting binned and i’ll make them go back to Roald Dahl novels in a bid to recapture their innocence.