Being the mama Bear

I’ve mentioned before I have been readying my tween nieces for the onslaught of cyber relationships and hazards, as much as it pained me to perhaps get them to look at ulterior motives and maybe lose a little bit of innocence.  Well, the last week has proven this has been a good thing to educate them.

I may never be a biological mama, but it doesn’t take a woman to give birth physically to become the afore mentioned protectress of her kin.  In the words of Gary Coleman’s famous character ‘What you talkin’ about Willis’ was pretty much my feeling this week and I pity the fool who thinks it’s appropriate to sleaze upon my girls.  I totally get the psychology of mamas in the animal kingdom that go from placid to the most fear inspiring creatures if you dare try to harm their offspring.  I felt like that with my nails outstretched and the want to rip shreds verbally.

An eleven year old boy at their primary school put on his facebook page a request for the older niece (who is twelve) to upload a picture of her boobs and digitally send to him.  Eleven year olds should be utterly embarrassed to even contemplate boobs, and honestly girls at that age have next to nothing to proudly display anyway.  Trust me, at twelve I thought having huge bazongas would make me a woman and I wanted nothing more than to grow up quickly but if it had meant being open to my class mates and older men leering at me or asking to see them I would have been disgusted.  Hell, at twelve I proudly proclaimed to anyone in ear shot I was never having sex.  How little did I know…

So, upon dealing with the feeling of not being there and failing to protect my nieces (which is strange in itself for me to contend with) I’ve been pondering what we, what do you and I do to combat this behaviour?  Can we even teach ethics to tweens who have all the information in the world but not the comprehension to get respect as opposed to ‘fun’.  Youth is the reason we used to send young men to war, it’s the blessing and the curse of thinking you know everything and are invincible.

I am heartened that both girls knew the action was degrading and reported it to an adult, who then notified the school and the boy involved was spoken to and suspended.  At least it was taken seriously and the school may now rethink their sexual education policy/program as currently in my state Police Officers from cyber crime units and sexual crimes speak to high school students to combat sexting and educate on the illegal nature of it in Australia.  What is scary is that teenagers are at high risk of being put on a sex offender registry for life because they ask , receive or disseminate child pornography.  What is scarier, after these information sessions it doesn’t seem to stop a lot of students from going straight back onto facebook and asking for more photos despite now knowing the risk.

So that’s where my mind is currently, contemplative, protective and more than a little bit sad that a lot of the simple joys I had growing up have been eradicated or dullified by the digital age.  Being a mama Bear is also an interesting experience, which makes me wonder how am I going to be when they’re dating????   

Growing up is never easy, but give me a time when computers were simply fun and trees in the backyard were made for climbing. 

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Not your average cam girl write up…

Goddesses are known for being obtuse, feisty, independent and ethereal. They can be kind and loving one moment but demand respect.  You get what you give, and i like Karma……  

LOVES :

Good quality chocolate (none of the cheap stuff) great food, a nice bottle of riesling to sip on. 

RESPECT – one it’s a great Aretha song, secondly it’s what all people want. I have a name and it ain’t ‘bb’ ‘darl’ or ‘slut’ I’m a woman not a masturbation tool and no dude, i don’t want to see your magical, life saving penis on cam.

Literature, poetry, comedy, art, erotica not smut. Dancing for the hell of it, loving with an open and full heart and bringing creativity and a little bit of crazy to others. 

Manners and intelligence really float my boat, as does someone that can stimulate me mentally. I have a mind, turn it on and half the battle is won.  I also lurve being dominant, teasing with class and being a devilish distraction. 

DISLIKES:

douchebags, bogans and dumb asses. Sure there is a place for you in this world but it’s not my chat room. Read that again – CHAT room, not ‘insistent beggar room’ big difference. 

‘OPEN BOBS’ OR ‘SHOW FEET BB’ – firstly , they are breasts and not available for surgery thank you very much. And feet guys, wtf – you could admire any other part of my visage but you have to choose feet plus you never tip…. enough said. 

Men who try to pimp – ** news flash** i don’t want to meet you, I certainly don’t care how much you think you can offer i’m not for sale, period. If you really have that much money go to a casino and find someone who has zero ethics.

Psychoanalyst wannabes: yeah you know who you are. You think you can gauge the soul behind the screen or ask inane questions to ‘know me’ . I’m happy and self aware and not interested in being analysed by the next Freud.

Ethics and 300 viewers

Just a quick note about something that is increasingly bothering me.  Is it ethical or attractive for a woman to be on cam and drunk??   Do we as a society want women to equate sexuality with the need to be out of it and easily manipulated, i’d like to think not.

Do a certain sub section of men view it as easy pickings… abso-fucking-lutely.  I watched a young, rather lost looking girl (she barely looked 18) downing wine like water and not in a lucid, cohesive state to make decisions. 

Scarily… 300 other people were watching.

I watched and shook my head silently, willing her to go offline to drown her sorrows.  Make no mistake, she didn’t look elated or happy, she looked like the bottle was an escape for something deeper.  Did she even have an inkling of just how sad she looked, probably not.

It’s embarrassing to think back of stupid things we’ve done whilst imbibing too much, I know I’ve danced in the middle of the street, sang too loudly and admitted things to lovers I wish I had not.  Luckily, I’ve not been watched on the internet by hundreds of people any of which could make it a you tube classic moment I would never be rid of.

I’m glad that a number of men in the room told her to go offline and take care of herself, it shows there are people who like titillation but not at any cost. 

Sexy is being able to remember what you said and did and not feeling ashamed about it or looking for an outside source to fill the void you desperately wish wasn’t there.

Interesting what happens with sex and the digital age isn’t it?